A thankful prayer

It never ceases to amaze me how I could spend so many hours every day just saying thank you

I am truely counting my blessings and I feel grateful having so many to count



I am thankful that I have the love and support of my family and friends, who never stop giving and I hope that I return that love ten-fold

I am thankful that I am me; that I have been given this gift of life and that I can use it for good and to help others; that I can be me and that I have been given this time now to look after myself and focus on what I need

I am thankful that I feel; I hope to always put my heart and soul into everything I do and never stop caring. I want to always treat people with honesty and consideration.

I am thankful that I can dance; to be creative and be able to express in such a beautiful art form



Never stop appreciating everything you have, there is always so much to value in life :)

Lets start with a cliche

 The last few months of my life have been a huge turning point for me and I have created this blog so that I have somewhere to put my thoughts and reflections.

I am slowly beginning to built a new bridge; my very own bridge :) I have no idea where this bridge is heading but here I will write about it as its being created

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I have never been able to bring myself to write a blog as a cringed at how cliche it was . . .  it seems ironic now, having recently felt so many 'cliche' emotions while going through so many 'cliche' situations. I now have a renewed understanding of the word.

  Dictionary:  'A cliché or cliche is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect'


When I hurt the most I felt completely alone, not abandoned but somehow completely separate from everyone else. I was suddenly left with me and I constantly battled against myself, wanting to somehow detach from my thoughts and emotions. I could not stand to be with anyone, to hear them talk or even breath but I also missed company. I wanted to just constantly keep walking, why stop?


Starting to sound cliche?


Alot of things I said and felt, did seem to me embarassing cliche. But why was I embarrased about being a cliche?
I think a part of my embarrassment was caused by not wanting to admit that something bad had happened to me, that I did not want to be seen as a failure. Do we not all want to be admired?  . . Well I never used to care a great deal about what others thought, was did I suddenly now?

Feeling this really shocked me. It highlighted how over the last year I have lived not for me but for others. In constantly trying to make others happy and caring for them I had neglected what made me happy.
I realised I need some time to reconnect with me.

I need to feel my emotions to their depth, engage with what I feel and think.
No matter how seemingly cliche, those feelings are personal and real and I am going through them now, I should not stop them because the world is watching and 'has been there done that'. 


I recently read the following saying:

'If you are going to have a soft heart you had better have a hard bottom'


Well here I am, fallen, sat on a cold floor with my heart ripped open and bleeding  . . . . . but I am not ashamed or embarrased because I loved, cared and gave what I could



(Bare with me, this IS going somewhere)



I was also told by so many that I would heal and grow stronger, and I trusted their wisdom. I could now go back a month and give myself that same advice :) 


The more and more I was told by strong and inspiring women, that they themselves had been through the same thing, and the more and more I recieve their kindness, support and consolation I have begun to realise the unifying power of living through life's cliche's. Understanding is a precious gift to be able to pass on and share, as well as being able to give to yourself.




Now I think I need to change that definition of cliche


'A cliche: - a journey or experience though which lessons continue to be learnt or wisdom gained
                - it then becomes a fuel that we all add to a fire; a fire that in turn we will all take  
                  comfort from - it allows us to continue a cycle of mutual support



so now I dont feel quite so bad about starting a blog, cliche isnt so bad after all



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